Better Relationship after Divorce

3 ez ways to Prepare for a Better Relationship after Divorce

Divorce usually makes relationships toxic form the day the divorce papers are served to the day the divorce papers are finalized, but the experience can actually be a great learning opportunity that prepares you for the relationship of a lifetime. Depending on which direction you choose to take once the divorce papers are final. One thing that you may need to do is work on yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally or you may not get over the bitterness of the divorce for quite a while. It’s your decision to make the best out of your divorce leading you down the path you choose too, and that can make all the difference in the world. Let’s look at all the ways that divorce can help.

  1. You may realize you were looking for the wrong things in a marriage.

When you say, “I do,” you probably expected that the marriage would last a lifetime and when you resisted the words “till death do us part” actually meant just that not “till we are sick of each other do us part”. Marriage is meant to last a life time but if you find your marriage has turned out to be the later of the two phases then you may need to reevaluate whether your vows were right for you and your spouse or not. Most often you’ll find that “till death do us part” is in fact for a lifetime and not to be taken lightly. You may find that many things you thought you wanted in a marriage was not really what you wanted after all.

  1. A newly Divorced couple soon realizes how much work was involved to make a Marriage successful.

Getting married doesn’t end the work involved to build strong relationships but some people make this mistake, this maybe one reason why divorces are trending at around 50 percent as a whole.
When people start thinking they’ve crossed some kind of imaginary “finish line” and then think there married life will be a breeze they had better think again. Fact is that once you get married and the honeymoon is over (and believe me the honeymoon does end quickly) that’s when the reality sets in and the real work of marriage begins if both couples are ready for the work it takes to stay married then it’s expected to last a lifetime but if either one of the couples fail to do their part the marriage may be doom from day one.

  1. Did your weaknesses contribute to your Divorce? How will knowing your weaknesses help your future marriage?
    Where you not caring enough about your eat habits or how often you exercise? (This goes for either of the couples) The reason you got married was wrong because you didn’t choose a responsible and giving partner? A divorce may help you see these weaknesses as well as others and help you work to improve the decisions you make in your life and do away with the bad decisions that lead to bad judgment calls.

While divorce isn’t something that you want to celebrate necessarily, it can be the learning tool needed to help you get the life you always wanted and deserve with the partner of your dreams.

Marriage counseling

Have You Tried Counseling

Counseling may be requirement before any court proceedings will be allowed, you should explore and exhaust every avenue before starting any court proceedings.
After you have exhausted all of the options and document them you stand a better chance of being heard by the courts when requesting or filing for a divorce.

Marriage counseling is a tool to help save a marriage hopefully stopping it from heading to the divorce court, if nothing else marriage counseling can play a big roll to understanding each other before filing for the divorce papers making it quicker and a little more bearable while going through the divorce proceedings.

Strange as it may seem, sometimes these counseling session will help the couple who are really focused on divorce, to work out their issues in a calm and less defensive manner, thus facilitating a higher level of calmness and civility within the divorce process.

Some couples find out that marriage counseling may have been all they needed to open up to each other and work out their differences.

However seeking marriage counseling doesn’t always work out the way some couples would like it too, counseling may or may not Spark life back into a relationship.

A counselor can be a professional individual who are specifically trained, volunteers who have experienced Divorce and have formed support groups, religious help may even help some couples salvage their marriage. Anything that contributes positively will help greatly.

Marriage counseling sessions are usually in a protective and conducive environment designed to allow each couple to vocalizes their feelings and thoughts in the presents of a licensed counselor who has no particular hidden agenda and their only objective is to help the couple through the confusion while all the time staying neutral throughout the  counseling process.

Webster’s Definition of Divorce
Webster’s 1913 Dictionary

n. 1. (Law) A legal dissolution of the marriage contract by a court or other body having competent authority. This is properly a divorce, and called, technically, divorce a vinculo matrimonii.

2. The decree or writing by which marriage is dissolved.

3. Separation; disunion of things closely united.
To make divorce of their incorporate league.
– Shak.
4. That which separates.
Bill of divorce
See under Bill.
v. t. 1. To dissolve the marriage contract of, either wholly or partially; to separate by divorce.
[imp. & p. p. Divorced ; p. pr. & vb. n. Divorcing.]

2. To separate or disunite; to sunder.
It [a word] was divorced from its old sense.
– Earle.
3. To make away; to put away.
Nothing but death
Shall e’er divorce my dignities.
– Shak.
WordNet Dictionary
Noun 1. divorce – the legal dissolution of a marriage
Synonyms: divorcement

Verb 1. divorce – part; cease or break association with; “She disassociated herself from the organization when she found out the identity of the president”
Synonyms: disassociate, disjoint, dissociate, disunite

2. divorce – get a divorce; formally terminate a marriage; “The couple divorced after only 6 months”
Synonyms: split up

Legal Dictionary
DIVORCE. The dissolution of a marriage contracted between a man and a woman, by the judgment of a court of competent jurisdiction, or by an act of the legislature. It is so called from the diversity of the minds of those who are married; because such as are divorced go each a different way from the other. Ridley’s Civ. & Eccl. Law, pp. 11, 112. Until a decree of divorce be actually made, neither party can treat the other as sole, even in cases where the marriage is utterly null and void for some preexisting cause. Griffiths v Smith, D. C. of Philadelphia, 3 Penn. Law Journal, 151, 153. A decree of divorce must also be made during the lifetime of both the parties. After the decease of either the marriage will be deemed as legal in all respects. Reeves” Dom. Rel. 204; 1 Bl. Com. 440. See Act of Pennsylvania, March 13, 1815, Sec. 5.
2. Divorces are of two kinds; 1. a vinculo matrimonii, (q.v.) which dissolves and totally severs the marriage tie; and, 2. a mensa et thoro, (q.v.) which merely separates the parties.
3.-1. The divorce a vinculo was never granted by the ecclesiastical law except for the most grave reasons. These, according to Lord Coke, (Co. Litt. 235, a,) are causa praecontractus, causa metus, causa impotentiae, seu frigiditatis, causa affinitatis, et causa consanguinitatis. In England such a divorce bastardizes the issue, and generally speaking, is allowed only on the ground of some preexisting cause. Reeves’ Dom. Rel. 204-5; but sometimes by act of parliament for a supervenient cause. 1 Bl. Com. 440. When the marriage was dissolved for canonical causes of impediment, existing previous to its taking place, it was declared void ab initio.
4. In the United States, divorces a vinculo are granted by the state legislatures for such causes as may be sufficient to induce the members to vote in favor of granting them; and they are granted by the courts to which such jurisdiction is given, for certain causes particularly provided for by law.
5. In some states, the legislature never grants a divorce until after the courts have decreed one, and it is still requisite that the legislature shall act, to make the divorce valid. This is the case in Mississippi. In some states, as Wisconsin, the legislature cannot grant a divorce. Const. art. 4, is. 24.
6. The courts in nearly all the states have power to decree divorces a vinculo, for, first, causes which existed and which were a bar to a lawful marriage, as, precontract, or the existence of a marriage between one of the contracting parties and another person, at the time the marriage sought to be dissolved took place; consanguinity, or that degree of relationship forbidden by law; affinity in some states, as Vermont, Rev. Stat. tit. 16, c. 63, s. 1; impotence, (q.v.) idiocy, lunacy, or other mental imbecility, which renders the party subject to it incapable of making a contract; when the contract was entered into in consequence of fraud. Secondly, the marriage may be dissolved by divorce for causes which have arisen since the formation of the contract, the principal of which are adultery cruelty; willful and malicious desertion for a period of time specified in the acts of the several states; to these are added, in some states, conviction of felony or other infamous crime; Ark. Rev. Stat. c. 50, s. 1, p. 333; being a fugitive from justice, when charged with an infamous crime. Laws of Lo. Act of April 2, 1832. In Tennessee the husband may obtain a divorce when the wife was pregnant at the time of marriage with a child of color; and also when the wife refuses for two years to follow her husband, who has gone bona fide to Tennessee to reside. Act of 1819, c. 20, and Act of 1835, c. 26 Carr. Nich. & Comp. 256, 257. In Kentucky and Maine,, where one of the parties has formed a connexion with certain religionists, whose opinions. and practices are inconsistent with the marriage duties. And, in some states, as Rhode Island and Vermont, for neglect and refusal on the part of the husband (he being of sufficient ability) to provide necessaries for the subsistence of his wife. In others, habitual drunkenness is a sufficient cause.
7. In some of the states divorces a mensa et thoro are granted for cruelty, desertion, and such like causes, while in others the divorce is a vinculo.
8. When the divorce is prayed for on the ground of adultery, in some and perhaps in most of the states, it is a good defence, 1st. That the other party has been guilty of the same offence. 2. That the husband has prostituted his wife, or connived at her amours. 3. That the offended party has been reconciled to the other by either express or implied condonation. (q.v.) 4. That there was no intention to commit adultery, as when the party, supposing his or her first husband or wife dead, married again. 5. That the wife was forced or ravished.
9. The effects of a divorce a vinculo on the property of the wife, are various in the several states. When the divorce is for the adultery or other criminal acts of the husband, in general the wife’s lands are restored to her; when it is caused by the adultery or other criminal act of the wife, the husband has in general some qualified right of curtesy to her lands; when the divorce is caused by some preexisting cause, as consanguinity, affinity or impotence, in some states, as Maine and Rhode Island, the lands of the wife are restored to her. 1 Hill. Ab. 51, 2. See 2 Ashm. 455; 5 Blackf. 309. At common law, a divorce a vinculo matrimonii bars the wife of dower; Bract. lib. ii. cap. 39, Sec. 4; but not a divorce ti mensa et, thoro, though for the crime of adultery. Yet by Stat. West. 1, 3 Ed. I. c. 84, elopement with an adulterer has this effect. Dyer, 195; Co. Litt. 32, a. n. 10; 3 P. Wms. 276, 277. If land be given to a man and his wife, and the heirs of their two bodies begotten, and they are divorced. a vinculo, &c., they shall neither of them have this estate, but he barely tenants for life, notwithstanding the inheritance once vested in them. Co. Litt. 28. If a lease be made to husband and wife during coverture, and the husband sows the, land, and afterwards they are divorced a vinculo, &c., the husband shall have the emblements in that case, for the divorce is the act of law. Mildmay’s Case. As to personalty, the rule of the common law is, if one marry a woman who has goods, he may give them or sell them at his pleasure. If they are divorced, the woman shall have the goods back again, unless the husband has given them away or sold them; for in such case she is without remedy. If the husband aliened them by collusion, she may aver and prove the collusion, and thereupon recover the goods from the alience. If one be bound in an obligation to a feme sole, and then marry her, and afterwards they are divorced, she may sue her former husband on the obligation, notwithstanding her action was in suspense during the marriage. And for such things as belonged to the wife before marriage, if they cannot be known, she could sue for, after divorce, only in the court Christian, for the action of account did not lie, because he was not her receiver to account. But for such things as remain in specie, and may be known, the common law gives her an action of detinue. 26 Hen. VIII. 1.
10. When a divorce a vinculo takes place, it is, in general, a bar to dower; but in Connecticut, Illinois, New York, and, it seems, in Michigan, dower is not barred by a divorce for the fault of the husband. In Kentucky, when a divorce takes place for the fault of the husband, the wife is entitled as if he were dead. 1 Hill. Ab. 61, 2.
11.-2. Divorces a mensa et thoro, are a mere separation of the parties for a time for causes arising since the marriage; they are pronounced by tribunals of competent jurisdiction. The effects of the sentence continue for the time it was pronounced, or until the parties are reconciled. A. divorce a mensa et thoro deprives the husband of no marital right in respect to the property of the wife. Reeve’s Dom. Rel. 204-5. Cro. Car. 462; but see 2 S. & R. 493. Children born after a divorce a mensa et thoro are not presumed to be the husband’s, unless he afterwards cohabited with his wife. Bac. Ab. Marriage, &c. E.
12. By the civil law, the child of parents divorced, is to be brought up by the innocent party, at the expence of the guilty party. Ridley’s View, part 1, ch. 3, sect. 9, cites 8th Collation. Vide, generally, 1 Bl. Com. 440, 441 3 Bl. Com. 94; 4 Vin. Ab. 205; 1 Bro. Civ. Law, 86; Ayl. Parerg. 225; Com. Dig. Baron and Feme, C;-Coop. Justin. 434, et seq.; 6 Toullier, No. 294, pa. 308; 4 Yeates’ Rep. 249; 5 Serg. & R. 375; 9 S. & R. 191, 3; Gospel of Luke, eh, xvi. v. 18; of Mark, ch. x. vs. 11, 12; of Matthew, ch. v. 32, ch. xix. v. 9; 1 Corinth. ch. vii. v. 15; Poynt. on Marr. and Divorce, Index, h.t.; Merl. Rep. h.t.; Clef des Lois Rom. h.t. As to the effect of the laws of a foreign state, where the divorce was decreed, see Story’s Confl. of Laws, ch. 7, Sec. 200. With regard to the ceremony of divorce among. the Jews, see 1 Mann. & Gran. 228; C. 39. Eng. C. L. R. 425, 428. And as to divorces among the Romans, see Troplong, de l’Influence du Christianisme sur le Droit Civil des Romains, ch. 6. p. 205.
Dream Dictionary
To dream that you are getting a divorce, indicates that you need to differentiate between things in your life and prioritize them. Alternatively, it may mean that you have a fear of separation. Also you may be not being satisfied with your present relationship. Divorce dreams may reflect real-life events and the stress that it brings. You may be wondering if you have made a mistake in some situation or decision Divorce dreams suggest a transitional phase or a time to change your old habits.
Related Words
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